28.8k dialup: Blazingly fast
internet .... Back in 1996

28.8k dialup modems are blazingly fast and at the forefront of cutting-edge technology — if we took a time machine back 14 years to when they were introduced in 1996.

Darwin, California would achieve the top download speeds in this chart if Verizon installed DSL from a T1 line. It currently has the bottom speed — 28.8 or even slower.

Today any internet page (even pages dedicated to 56k modems) load mind-numbingly slow at 28.8k. IF Darwin actually had a solid 28.8k connection. But the connection is actually slower. A 26.4 or 24.6k connection is the norm.

56k dialup is impossible
A technical quirk prevents Darwin dialup from ever connecting at any speed above 28.8. In layman's terms, a phone line can only convert from digital to analog a certain number of times to allow 56k. And guess what? Darwin's phone lines exceed that number of analog/digital connections. So a 56k connection is technically impossible. The whole V.90 standard is impossible, so you'll never even see a 33.6k connection.

U.S. broadband penetration grew to 94.65 percent in May 2009. Dial-up users connecting at 56Kbps or less now make up ONLY 5.35 percent of active Internet users, according to Nielson Online.

Bumcrack, Ethiopia and small countries with unpronounceable names have better internet speeds than Darwin, California. Poo to Obama and his "last mile" internet initiative. We the people of Darwin see no indication of anything happening any time soon to bring broadband to the people who really need it.

Oh sure, they're spending EIGHTEEN GAZILLION TRILLION dollars (actual figure) redoing a FIOS corridor through Owens Valley so people can get better internet connections ..... But you notice the word "better?" THEY HAVE SOME FORM OF BROADBAND ALREADY. Darwin has nothing except for a slo-mo 28.8k, on a GOOD day, which is like watching a creosote bush grow. And they take about 100 years to reach five or six feet high, so you can see the apt comparison.